


Lost in Darkness

by HamHamHeaven



Series: Greyscale [19]
Category: Jrock, MUCC, lynch. (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Colorblind Soulmate AU, M/M, Modern Setting, Step-Parent Hazuki (lynch.), implied original character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-06-02 13:30:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19442434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HamHamHeaven/pseuds/HamHamHeaven
Summary: What's out of sight is out of mind for Tatsurou... until suddenly it isn't.





	Lost in Darkness

The instant Hazuki grants his son permission to leave the table, two-year-old Isamu jumps up from his cushion and hurries around to climb into Tatsurou’s lap. This isn’t an unusual occurrence these days, as Oji-san has recently taught Isamu the joys of “wrestling”, and the little boy is always eager for another bout of (very gentle) roughhousing, even when he has a full tummy. Knowing that bath time will probably be less of a fight if he allows a few extra minutes’ play, Hazuki merely raises an eyebrow and takes his time finishing the last of his own meal. 

Rather than starting in with the expected poking and tickling, Tatsurou merely shifts his legs to accommodate the child, without any of the typical good-natured grumbling or rolling of eyes. And to Hazuki’s surprise, Isamu doesn’t whine or fuss to be wrestled. He rests his little cheek quietly against Tatsurou’s chest while his second step-father rocks him back and forth absent-mindedly.

Something is definitely up, and Hazuki feels rather sheepish that a child picked up on it before he did.

“What’s wrong, Tatsu?”

A drink of water and three “just one more” stories later, Hazuki has finally gotten Isamu settled into bed for the night with his blanket and his teddy bear and his nightlight, and has returned to the main room to find his lover staring absently out the window toward the shadowy street below.

“Nothing,” Tatsurou replies in a faraway voice.

Hazuki drapes himself over Tatsurou’s lanky frame, hands splayed over his lover’s abdomen the way Hazuki knows Tatsurou likes, and rests his chin on Tatsurou’s shoulder.

“Liar,” he declares. “You’ve been spacing out on us since dinner. Is having the baby here too much?”

“Don’t you think it’s time to stop referring to him as ‘the baby’?” Tatsurou observes. “He’s two.”

Hazuki rolls his eyes and pretends to bite Tatsurou’s shoulder.

“Fine. Is having the toddler here too much?”

Tatsurou intentionally shrugs his shoulder with a quick jerk, trying and failing to catch Hazuki unawares.

“Nah, it’s cool.”

Bantering doesn’t seem to be dissipating the gloomy preoccupation hanging over Tatsurou’s head, so Hazuki tries a different tactic, nuzzling the side of his neck and kissing sensually along the hairline.

“ _Something’s_ bothering you, Babe. Even a blind man could see that.”

 _Of all the things he might have said_ , Tatsurou thinks ironically as he stares out at the stream of headlights.

He wraps his arms around himself, grabbing Hazuki’s biceps to tighten their hug. The motion only increases Hazuki’s worry.

“Hey,” he murmurs against his lover’s ear, “Talk to me.”

Tatsurou takes a slow deep breath, holds it for several seconds, then lets the air leave his lungs in one forceful puff.

“My… vision went grey today.”

Hazuki remains silent and unmoving for several long seconds as he processes the information. It’s been so easy to forget that Tatsurou’s soulmate even exists.

…

Existed.

“H-how? I mean… when? Where… were you when it happened?”

“On the pre-owned lot with some old grandmother looking to trade in her vehicle for something smaller. Just after lunch. It was…,” Tatsurou draws another ragged breath, “It was so weird. Like some invisible hand took a wet sponge and in one swipe wiped away all of the colour from the world.”

Hazuki tries to imagine how that would be, having never experienced colour himself. Like someone suddenly turning the light off when you’re trying to read, maybe. Or living your entire life with a finger smudge in the centre of your glasses.

“Are you…?”

_Okay?_

No, of course Tatsurou isn’t okay.

“How… are you feeling about it?” asks Hazuki instead.

Tatsurou doesn’t answer right away, but his grip on his lover’s arms intensifies.

“Tatsu.”

Hazuki spins Tatsurou around and kisses him deeply, pouring his love and sympathy into his touch as he strokes over his partner’s spine.

“I feel so guilty,” Tatsurou admits in a raw whisper against Hazuki’s lips. “I never really think about her, and now suddenly… she’s gone, and I have no idea how or why, and no way to find out.”

“But that’s not your fault, Babe. How were two preschool kids supposed to keep in touch half way around the globe when email wasn’t a thing yet?”

“I didn’t even attempt to find her,” protests Tatsurou weakly. “Not once.”

Hazuki grimaces.

“I still would have wanted to be with you, not her,” Tatsurou assures him, pressing closer. “S’just… she… deserved better than me.”

A thousand different thoughts spring to Hazuki’s mind.

_No one’s better than you._

_She didn’t deserve you at all._

_Would you really have wanted me if she’d been a viable choice?_

None of those things are going to make Tatsurou feel any better, so Hazuki pushes them to the back of his mind. Instead, he presses the words “I love you” in Tatsurou’s skin over and over again and pretends he doesn’t feel the hot, wet tears beneath his kisses.

**Author's Note:**

>  **1)** Obviously this is set a couple of years after Brilliant World. I know nothing more about Tatsurou's soulmate that what we have here, so sorry if this is confusingly vague. He's not inclined to give me details.


End file.
